The Thais Gibson Podcast

The Truth About Each Attachment Style's Biggest Turn Offs

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Have you ever felt deeply turned off, or suddenly rejected, and had no idea why?
What repels one attachment style can feel normal or even familiar to another.
And many of the biggest turn offs in relationships aren’t conscious choices, they’re subconscious survival patterns.
When those patterns go unhealed, they often create codependent dynamics that quietly sabotage connection.
🎥 Episode Summary
In today’s video, Thais Gibson reveals the biggest turn offs for each attachment style, Secure, Anxious, Fearful Avoidant, and Dismissive Avoidant, and explains why these patterns trigger attraction, withdrawal, or shutdown at a nervous system level.
You’ll learn how subconscious conditioning, unmet childhood needs, and emotional self-abandonment shape what we’re drawn to, and what pushes us away, often without us realizing it.
This episode is especially powerful if you:Feel stuck in repeating relationship patternsAre confused by sudden loss of attraction or connectionStruggle with codependency, people-pleasing, or emotional over-investmentWant to understand both your own triggers and your partner’s
✨ Key Takeaways
✔ Why secure attachment is turned off by inconsistency and emotional games✔ How anxious attachment chases what actually dysregulates them✔ The paradox of fearful avoidant attraction and repulsion✔ Why Dismissive Avoidants shut down around intensity and emotional demands✔ How subconscious comfort zones shape attraction✔ Why healing codependency changes who you’re drawn to✔ How unmet needs, not “chemistry”, drive relationship cycles
⏱ TIMESTAMPS
00:00 – The Truth About Each Attachment Style's Biggest Turn Offs00:52 – Secure Attachment 03:06 – Anxious Preoccupied05:10 – Fearful Avoidant07:00 – Ending Copependency Course Promo07:21 – Dismissive Avoidant 09:02 – Check Out/Our Online Programs
Meet the HostThais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.
Helpful Resources:🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quizhttps://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
📚 Read the Learning Love Bookhttps://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
🎧 Discover Podcast Episodeshttps://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1
📝 Read the PDS Bloghttps://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/
Let’s Connect on Socials:📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/

Fearful Avoidants Want to Fix Things When THIS Happens

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When a fearful avoidant shuts down, it can feel final, like the door is completely closed.
But there are specific moments when a fearful avoidant becomes open to repair, reconnection, and real change.
And understanding what actually moves the needle can save you from chasing, over-functioning, or abandoning yourself in the process.
🎥 Episode Summary
In today’s video, Thais Gibson breaks down the key conditions that make a fearful avoidant want to fix things after a rupture or breakup and just as importantly, when it’s healthier to step back instead.
You’ll learn how fearful avoidant deactivating strategies are driven by unmet needs, core wounds, fear of enmeshment, and emotional disconnection and how authentic communication, boundaries, and nervous system safety can reopen connection without manipulation.
This episode is essential if you’re:Trying to repair a relationship with a fearful avoidantUnsure whether reconnection is possible or healthyOr working on your own fearful avoidant patterns
✨ Key Takeaways
✔ Why fearful avoidants often feel “done” — until specific needs are met✔ The difference between authentic repair and manipulation✔ Why defining boundaries and converting them into needs is critical✔ How unmet needs (not the relationship itself) trigger deactivation✔ The role novelty, trust, and emotional connection play in reconnection✔ Why fearful avoidants respond deeply to validation, empathy, and clarity✔ The importance of deadlines so you don’t abandon yourself
⏱ TIMESTAMPS
00:00 – When Fearful Avoidants Want to Fix the Relationship00:47 – Manipulation Tactics Won’t Make a Relationship Fulfilling03:18 – 1. Define Your Boundaries and Convert Them Into Needs04:58 – 7-Day Free Trial Promo 05:48 – 2. Get Clear About What Wasn’t Working With That Person 06:44 – Why Fearful Avoidants Leave Relationships 08:45 – Their Dealbreakers May Actually Be Solvable Problems11:30 – 3. Identify Where the Fearful Avoidant Didn’t Feel Heard, Wanted, or Cared for12:08 – 4. Communicate and Validate Unmet Wounds After 3-4 Weeks14:05 – Make Sure You Have a Deadline
Meet the HostThais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.
Helpful Resources:🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quizhttps://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
📚 Read the Learning Love Bookhttps://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
🎧 Discover Podcast Episodeshttps://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1
📝 Read the PDS Bloghttps://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/
Let’s Connect on Socials:📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/

How to Get Closure From Someone Who Won't Give It | Anxious Attachment

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If you have an Anxious Attachment style, the urge to get closure from someone who pulled away, ghosted you, or shut down can feel overwhelming. But chasing closure from the wrong person often keeps you stuck, emotionally drained, and unable to move on.
In this video, Thais Gibson explains why seeking closure isn’t actually the need and what to do instead to regain emotional stability, certainty, and peace.
🎥 EPISODE SUMMARY
When someone won’t explain themselves or emotionally meet you after a breakup, it can feel impossible to move forward. But what feels like a need for closure is often a need for certainty.
In this episode, Thais walks Anxious Attachment styles through a grounded, practical framework to stop chasing answers from someone who isn’t capable of giving them. You’ll learn how to evaluate whether a person can provide healthy closure, how to understand the emotional “void” left behind, and how to begin meeting your own unmet needs so you can heal more quickly and fully.
These steps help you stop looping in rumination, regain emotional safety, and build secure self-connection, without needing anything from your ex.
✨ KEY TAKEAWAYS
• Why seeking closure from the wrong person keeps you stuck• The difference between closure and certainty• How to tell if someone is capable of giving healthy closure• Why Anxious Attachment styles struggle most with uncertainty• How to reframe unmet needs after a breakup• What you’re really grieving when you miss your ex• How self-validation and need-meeting accelerate healing
⏱ TIMESTAMPS
00:00 – Seeking Closure Is Not Always the Answer00:45 – Step 1: Ask Yourself if This Person Is Capable of Giving You Closure02:11 – Step 2: Remember That You Are Experiencing a Void of Certainty in This Situation04:22 – Key Pillars for a Secure Relationship Promo04:41 – Step 3: Look at How Other Needs Were Being Met in That Relationship05:32 – Step 4: Make a List of the Things You Miss About Your Ex
Meet the HostThais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.
Helpful Resources:🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quizhttps://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
📚 Read the Learning Love Bookhttps://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
🎧 Discover Podcast Episodeshttps://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1
📝 Read the PDS Bloghttps://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/
Let’s Connect on Socials:📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/

Fearful Avoidants Are Often Attracted to THESE 4 Wrong Types of People for Them

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If you have a Fearful Avoidant attachment style, the people you feel drawn to are not random. They are often deeply connected to your subconscious comfort zone, nervous system conditioning, and unhealed emotional wounds.
In this video, Thais Gibson explains the four most common archetypes Fearful Avoidants are attracted to and exactly what each attraction reveals about where you are in your healing journey and what needs to shift to move toward secure attachment.
🎥 EPISODE SUMMARY
Fearful Avoidants often want emotionally healthy, secure relationships, yet repeatedly find themselves pulled toward partners who feel unsafe, unavailable, or overwhelming. Why?
Because the subconscious mind is wired for familiarity, not happiness.
In this episode, you’ll learn how subconscious conditioning and nervous system dysregulation drive attraction patterns, why chaos can feel like chemistry, and how different attachment archetypes mirror specific inner wounds. Thais walks through four relationship archetypes, including other Fearful Avoidants, Dismissive Avoidants, Anxious partners, and narcissistic types, so you can clearly identify your patterns and begin healing them at the root.
✨ KEY TAKEAWAYS
• Why attraction is driven by subconscious safety, not conscious desire• How your “type” reflects how you treat yourself emotionally• The role of nervous system regulation in breaking trauma bonds• Why Fearful Avoidants are drawn to chaos, distance, pressure, or control• How each relationship archetype points to a specific healing focus• What to work on to stop repeating painful relationship cycles• How subconscious healing + somatic work create real change
⏱ TIMESTAMPS
00:00 – You May Be Attracted to the Wrong People01:00 – We Are Attracted to Those Aligned With Our Subconscious Comfort Zone02:36 – Archetype 1: The Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style05:17 – The Power of Nervous System Regulation and Subconscious Healing Work06:36 – Key Pillars for a Secure Relationship Promo06:55 – Archetype 2: The Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style08:09 – Archetype 3: The Anxious Preoccupied Attachment Style08:55 – Archetype 4: Narcissists
Meet the HostThais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.
Helpful Resources:🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quizhttps://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
📚 Read the Learning Love Bookhttps://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
🎧 Discover Podcast Episodeshttps://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1
📝 Read the PDS Bloghttps://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/
Let’s Connect on Socials:📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/

What the Dismissive Avoidant Is REALLY DOING When They Go Missing

Unlock clarity, healing, and emotional freedom this Boxing Week with Thais Gibson. Start your FREE 7-day trial to the Personal Development School and get the Healing Family Dynamics Course ($250 Value) FREE for life.
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/healing-family-dynamics-flashsale?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=healing-family-dynamics-flashsale&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-12-31-25&el=podcast
When a Dismissive Avoidant suddenly pulls away, stops responding, or “goes missing,” it can feel confusing, painful, and deeply personal. But what’s actually happening beneath the surface is far more complex and far less about you than you might think.
In this episode, Thais Gibson breaks down the real emotional and nervous-system processes driving dismissive avoidance, including shame responses, fear of vulnerability, and learned patterns around conflict and emotional expression.
If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of this behavior, or if you recognize these patterns in yourself, this video offers clarity, compassion, and a powerful path forward.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode
Why Dismissive Avoidants often withdraw after moments of emotional closenessHow vulnerability activates shame and fear around emotional expressionThe role of unresolved family dynamics and emotional modelingWhy conflict feels overwhelming or unworkable for dismissive avoidantsHow avoidance becomes a strategy for escaping uncomfortable emotionsWhy healing these patterns creates more freedom, safety, and connection in relationships
⏱️ Timestamps
00:00 – What the Dismissive Avoidant Is REALLY DOING When They Go Missing00:31 – Dismissive Avoidants and Vulnerability in Relationships01:29 – Dismissive Avoidants and Conflict in Relationships02:23 – Dismissive Avoidants Have Core Fears About Their Own Emotions03:14 – The Shame Response04:41 – Healing Family Trauma Promo05:27 – Why Dismissive Avoidants Go Missing07:07 – Why Dismissive Avoidants Disconnect08:01 – Why You Should Work On This If You Are A Dismissive Avoidant
Meet the HostThais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.
Helpful Resources:🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quizhttps://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
📚 Read the Learning Love Bookhttps://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
🎧 Discover Podcast Episodeshttps://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1
📝 Read the PDS Bloghttps://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/
Let’s Connect on Socials:📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/

The Hot & Cold Fearful Avoidant Cycle Explained & the Secret to Healthily Bond

Unlock Clarity, Healing, and Emotional Freedom This Boxing Week With Thais Gibson. Start your FREE 7-day trial to the Personal Development School and get the Healing Family Dynamics Course ($250 Value) FREE for Life.
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/healing-family-dynamics-flashsale?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=healing-family-dynamics-flashsale&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-12-29-25&el=podcast
Do you feel yourself pulling away when someone gets close — only to panic when they create distance?
This hot and cold cycle is one of the most painful and confusing patterns of the Fearful Avoidant attachment style. In this video, Thais Gibson explains exactly why this cycle happens, what’s really being triggered beneath the surface, and how to finally break free from it in a healthy, secure way.
If you’ve ever felt stuck in make-up and break-up dynamics, struggled to settle into relationships, or felt overwhelmed by closeness and distance at the same time — this episode is for you.
Fearful Avoidants often experience intense emotional polarities — craving closeness while simultaneously fearing it. In this episode, Thais breaks down:
• Why Fearful Avoidants feel overwhelmed when partners pursue them• Why distance can suddenly trigger anxiety and chasing behaviors• How unresolved childhood core wounds fuel hot-and-cold relationship cycles• Why pushing someone away feels like “relief” — but leads to regret later• How emotional literacy, boundaries, and subconscious healing change everything
You’ll learn how these patterns form, why they repeat, and what it actually takes to feel safe, settled, and secure in relationships — without losing yourself.
✨ Key Takeaways
• Why Fearful Avoidants struggle to trust and settle into relationships• How core wounds like abandonment, entrapment, and unworthiness get activated• The real reason behind make-up and break-up cycles• Why pushing someone away is a trauma response — not a true desire• How to identify needs instead of reacting from fear• The role of subconscious reprogramming in lasting healing• What healthy bonding actually looks like for Fearful Avoidants
⏱️ Timestamps
00:00 – Hot and Cold Patterns00:49 – The Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style01:40 – Fearful Avoidants Struggle to Settle Into Relationships03:49 – When Core Wounds Get Triggered05:57 – Boxing Week: Sex Course Promo06:42 – The Make Up and Breakup Cycle09:22 – Healing Your Core Wounds
Meet the HostThais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.
Helpful Resources:🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quizhttps://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
📚 Read the Learning Love Bookhttps://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
🎧 Discover Podcast Episodeshttps://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1
📝 Read the PDS Bloghttps://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/
Let’s Connect on Socials:📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
#FearfulAvoidant #AttachmentTheory #PersonalDevelopmentSchool#HotAndCold #RelationshipHealing #SubconsciousHealing#DisorganizedAttachment #EmotionalHealing #SecureAttachment

The Fearful Avoidant's Inner World

Unlock Clarity, Healing, and Emotional Freedom This Boxing Week With Thais Gibson.Start your FREE 7-day trial to the Personal Development School and get theHealing Family Dynamics Course ($250 Value) FREE for Life.
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/healing-family-dynamics-flashsale?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=healing-family-dynamics-flashsale&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-12-27-25&el=podcast
If you’ve ever felt torn between craving closeness and pulling away, this episode will help you finally understand why.
Fearful Avoidant attachment can feel like living in constant emotional contradiction, longing for intimacy while fearing it at the same time. In this episode, Thais Gibson dives deep into the inner world of the Fearful Avoidant, unpacking the subconscious patterns, core wounds, and survival strategies that quietly shape relationships from the inside out.
You’ll gain compassionate insight into what’s really happening beneath the surface and, more importantly, how healing and secure connection are absolutely possible.
In this conversation, Thais explores three core patterns that define the Fearful Avoidant inner world:
• The push–pull dynamic of yearning for closeness while fearing emotional safety• Hypervigilance, resentment buildup, and difficulty communicating needs• Deep-seated unworthiness wounds that drive overgiving and self-sacrifice
Through real-life examples, personal reflection, and practical guidance, you’ll learn how Fearful Avoidant behaviors develop and how awareness, communication, and subconscious rewiring can transform relationships from the inside out.
Whether you identify as Fearful Avoidant or love someone who does, this episode offers clarity, compassion, and real tools for healing.
✨ Key Takeaways
• Why Fearful Avoidants experience intense emotional push–pull• How hypervigilance leads to resentment and emotional shutdown• The danger of expecting partners to “mind-read” needs• How unworthiness wounds fuel overgiving and burnout• How to question internal stories instead of reacting from fear• Practical ways to communicate needs with clarity and safety• Why subconscious healing is essential for lasting change
⏱️ Timestamps
00:00 – Attachment Style Quiz00:42 – Intro03:50 – 1 — They Yearn for and Fear Closeness09:46 – Hypervigilance and Resentment Buildup16:46 – Gaining Awareness and Ways to Communicate22:16 – Healing Family Dynamics Course Promo23:04 – 2 — They Expect You to Mind-Read28:23 – Question Your Story and Meet the Need31:46 – Transparency in Relationships40:08 – 3 — They Have an "Unworthiness" Core Wound48:31 – Final Thoughts51:27 – Conclusion
Meet the HostThais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.
Helpful Resources:🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quizhttps://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
📚 Read the Learning Love Bookhttps://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
🎧 Discover Podcast Episodeshttps://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1
📝 Read the PDS Bloghttps://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/
Let’s Connect on Socials:📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
#FearfulAvoidant #AttachmentTheory #PersonalDevelopmentSchool#HealingRelationships #SubconsciousHealing #EmotionalHealing#AttachmentStyles #InnerChildHealing #RelationshipGrowth

Is the Avoidant Discarding You or Is This Normal?

Unlock Clarity, Healing, and Emotional Freedom This Boxing Week With Thais Gibson. Start Your Free 7-day Trial to the Personal Development School and get the Healing Family Dynamics Course ($250 Value) FREE for Life.https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/healing-family-dynamics-flashsale?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=healing-family-dynamics&utm_medium=organic&utm_term=K-OyK4c3FN0&utm_content=yt-12-26-25&el=podcast
When someone you care about suddenly pulls away, it can feel terrifying and deeply confusing. You may find yourself asking: Are they discarding me… or is this just normal avoidant behavior?
In this video, Thais Gibson breaks down the clear emotional, behavioral, and neurological signs that indicate whether a Dismissive Avoidant is preparing to discard and what you can do to protect your heart, stop self-blame, and respond from a grounded, empowered place.
This video also walks you through practical steps to regulate emotional dysregulation, interrupt painful self-judgment patterns, and set boundaries that honor your needs, regardless of how the other person chooses to show up.
In This Video, You’ll Learn:The difference between normal avoidant distancing and an actual discardEarly emotional shutdown and devaluing behaviors to watch forWhy Dismissive Avoidants replace intimacy with “creature comforts”The neuroscience behind emotional dysregulation in relationshipsHow cortisol and oxytocin impact connection, stress, and bondingWhy self-judgment makes everything more painful and how to stop itHow to use pattern interrupts and boundary-setting to protect yourselfThe biggest sign a Dismissive Avoidant may be pulling away
Timestamps:00:00 – Are They Discarding Me?00:44 – 1. If You See Them Shutting Down Emotionally01:44 – 2. If There Are Sudden Devaluing Behaviors or Comments04:50 – Healing Family Dynamics Course Promo05:48 – 3. They Replace Intimacy With Creature Comforts07:05 – The Neuroscience Behind Emotional Dysregulation in Relationships09:12 – Step 1: You Don’t Need to Judge Yourself10:58 – Step 2: Pattern Interrupt13:49 – Ancient Wisdom on Self-Consideration15:33 – 4. When They Stop Communicating16:20 – Final Thoughts
Meet the HostThais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.
Helpful Resources:🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quizhttps://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
📚 Read the Learning Love Bookhttps://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
🎧 Discover Podcast Episodeshttps://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1
📝 Read the PDS Bloghttps://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/
Let’s Connect on Socials:📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/

Shocking Surprises Living with A Dismissive Avoidant

Unlock Deeper Intimacy & Connection With Thais Gibson This Boxing Week. Start Your Free 7-day Trial and Get the Attachment Styles & Sex Course ($250 Value) Free for Life.https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/boxing-week?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=boxing-week&utm_medium=organic&utm_term=aUrPwa0KzOI&utm_content=yt-12-20-25&el=podcast
Moving in together can feel like a major relationship milestone, but when one partner has a Dismissive Avoidant attachment style, it can also surface unexpected challenges.
In this episode, Thais Gibson and co-host Mike DiZio walk through what to realistically expect when you first move in with a Dismissive Avoidant, why certain behaviors show up, and how to navigate this transition without taking things personally or creating unnecessary conflict.
If you’re considering moving in with a Dismissive Avoidant, or already have, this conversation offers clarity, compassion, and practical strategies.
Living together often fast-tracks couples into the power struggle stage of relationships, and Dismissive Avoidants can feel especially activated by this shift. In this episode, you’ll learn why Dismissive Avoidants may retreat, equate comfort with love, struggle with compromise, and fear expectations, even when they deeply care about their partner.
Thais and Mike explore:✅ Why Dismissive Avoidants need space to regulate emotionally✅ How fear of being trapped can show up after moving in✅ Why conflict feels especially threatening in their home environment✅ How unconscious habits from hyper-independence impact cohabitation✅ What conversations must happen in advance to prevent resentment
Most importantly, this episode emphasizes that these patterns are understandable, workable, and not signs that the relationship is doomed, especially when both partners are willing to communicate and do the healing work.
Key Takeaways
✅ Dismissive Avoidants often retreat into personal space to self-regulate after moving in✅ Comfort and routine may be interpreted as love, leading to unintentional complacency✅ Fear of expectations can cause emotional withdrawal, not loss of care✅ Avoiding conflict temporarily increases long-term tension✅ Compromise and shared habits must be consciously built, not assumed✅ Clear conversations before moving in reduce fear, shutdown, and resentment
Timestamps
00:00 – Introduction03:17 – 1. Dismissive Avoidants Retreat to Their Own Space for Emotional Distance21:34 – 7-Day Free Trial Promo22:25 – 2. Dismissive Avoidants Equate Comfort With Love31:06 – 3. Dismissive Avoidants Fear Expectation and Being Trapped43:22 – 4. Dismissive Avoidants Retreat to Avoid Conflict48:33 – 5. Dismissive Avoidants Struggle with Compromise51:14 – 6. Dismissive Avoidants Are Protective of Their Belongings51:14 – Live With Them for a Few Days Before Moving in1:00:04 – Subscribe and Follow For More
Meet the HostThais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.
Helpful Resources:🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quizhttps://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
📚 Read the Learning Love Bookhttps://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
🎧 Discover Podcast Episodeshttps://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1
📝 Read the PDS Bloghttps://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/
Let’s Connect on Socials:📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
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Avoidants Propose to Their Partner When THIS Happens

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Dismissive Avoidants don’t commit because they’re pressured, convinced, or chased. In fact, those approaches usually push them further away. Commitment happens when specific emotional conditions are met, conditions rooted in their childhood conditioning, core fears, and unmet needs.
In this episode, Thais Gibson explains the real reasons Dismissive Avoidants propose, marry, and invest long-term and why these patterns often surprise people who are dating or loving them.
In this video, Thais breaks down the four core drivers behind long-term commitment for Dismissive Avoidants, drawing from attachment theory, conditioning, and years of clinical experience.
You’ll learn:
Why Dismissive Avoidants are often trying to avoid breakups more than commitment itselfHow pressure triggers autonomy wounds and emotional shutdownHow childhood conditioning shapes their beliefs about relationships and marriageWhy many Dismissive Avoidants secretly fear they “can’t do” relationshipsThe deep shame wound that makes them fear being truly seenThe emotional needs that help dismissive avoidants feel safe enough to commit
This episode also explains what actually helps move the relationship forward, without suppressing your own needs or walking on eggshells.
✨ Key Takeaways
✔ Dismissive avoidants often fear commitment because they associate closeness with pain✔ Pressure triggers rebellion, not security✔ Relationship beliefs are shaped by childhood environments — not objective reality✔ Many dismissive avoidants fear they are defective or incapable of relationships✔ Acceptance, direct communication, and emotional stability increase safety✔ Commitment grows when relationships feel predictable, non-shaming, and emotionally safe
⏱️ Timestamps
00:00 – What Makes Dismissive Avoidants Commit Long-Term?00:24 – Dismissive Avoidants Avoid Breakups02:43 – Dismissive Avoidant Don’t Like Being Pressured03:56 – Our Perception is Conditioned by the Environment We Grew Up in06:16 – 7-Day Free Trial Promo07:07 – Dismissive Avoidant Fear They Can’t “Do” Relationships09:09 – Dismissive Avoidant Fear Being “Found Out” as Shameful or Defective10:05 – Needs of the Dismissive Avoidant13:01 – Comment and Subscribe
Meet the HostThais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.
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#DismissiveAvoidant #AttachmentTheory #AvoidantAttachment #CommitmentIssues #PersonalDevelopmentSchool #ThaisGibson #RelationshipHealing #SecureAttachment #DatingAdvice